2009

I don't really like to make resolutions at the beginning of a new year; they always end up being the really obligatory and obvious choices and I almost always never keep them. So instead of having to make 10 resolutions (I cringe just at the thought of that) I decided to make a list of 10 things that I would like to happen this year. Yes, some of them are probably in the 'resolution' category, but I prefer to think of them as wishes, hopes and aims. I'm not going to feel like a total failure if I don't stick to some of them. These aren't in order of importance, either.


1. Love. This year, I really want to maintain a relationship, and feel that contentment and happiness for a prolonged period of time. Happiness is important to me, and I think that if I'm genuinely happy and the people I love and care for are happy aswell, then everything seems more attainable and problems might be just a bit easier to overcome. I want to make a certain someone happy, because he deserves to feel like that. Every day.


2. Get a good job. I am definitely a dreamer, and hoping fervently for a job that makes me happy is a perfect example of this. But like most people, I don't think it's too much to ask for.


3. Donate blood again. Donating blood for the first time last September was a great experience, one I ventured into after reading a book where a character donated blood and ended up falling in love with the woman who received his blood in a transfusion. Rest assured, I didn't donate hoping to find love, but for some reason, the thought of doing it stayed with me until I decided to do it. And I felt so proud of myself. It felt great to know I potentially saved someone's life. Unfortunately, when I was invited to donate a second time, I was really ill and wouldn't have been allowed to donate. So I would really like to do it again this year, hopefully more than once.


4. Get a puppy. Losing Holly in '07 was pretty tough, after 16 years of her being part of our family, it felt strange to go into the kitchen and not see her lying in bed, or hear her padding about looking for a nice place to lie down and nap. But last year, as a family, we decided that we were ready for a new pet, and so this summer, hopefully, another Miniature Schnauzer will be brightening up my life. And the rest of my family's, too. I can't wait.


5. Study again. I'm not sure if it will be with the Open University again or if I'll find a uni or college to study at. It's all about finding the right course, and I've still not come across Holocaust Studies, which is my idea of a dream course. As nerdy as that may seem. But I felt a great sense of accomplishment with completing and passing my course with the OU.


6. Have a great birthday. I tend to have disappointing birthdays, and while they're just one day out of the year and it may seem bratty to want to have a perfect day, I am determined to have a good one this year. Turning 21 is quite special, I believe, and since I'm going on holiday to Derbyshire for a week for my birthday, I hope that I don't fall victim to the disappointment birthdays tend to bring. I'm still trying to decide what to do on the actual day, so lists shall be made! I already have a few - geeky - ideas.


7. Do something creative. I like to think I'm quite a creative person, I am prone to a few good ideas a month, but whenever I try to put them into motion, something seems to be preventing me. I'm a bit like one of those people who can see a perfect drawing in their head but when they have the pencil in their hand and the paper in front of them, it ends up looking nothing like the image they had in their head. So, whether it's starting that short story or getting back into playing music, I'm going to try and unblock my creativity.


8. Keep reading. Anyone who knows me well will testify that I adore books and reading. For the last few years, there hasn't really been a prolonged period of time where I wasn't reading a book. And I'd love to keep that going. I have a list of 'to read' books and a lot of books I'd love to buy, so hopefully this one will be easy to achieve.


9. Finish my bedroom. I started to decorate quite a while ago now, and there are still a few things to do, and I would love for my bedroom to be a place I feel really happy and safe in. A little sanctuary. I still need a bookcase for all my books, and I have some black and white pictures I want on the wall. Things like that. I think completing my room and adding lots of little decorative touches would be a good tie in with my 'Do something creative' aspiration.


10. Talk to people about how I feel. I'm quite bad for keeping things bottled up and I want to feel more liberated with my feelings, for instance, if I have feelings for someone again, I will NOT keep them to myself for so long because it did me no favours and made me feel really low. It really does help to talk to someone if you have something on your mind, and I think I'd like to get over the notion that people wouldn't want to hear my thoughts and worries because they have bigger things to deal with.